Bien, one of Sauti Sol’s most vocal members recently revealed that he was thinking about initiating a divorce from his wife, Chiki Kuruka, just 8 months after they had gotten married. He made this admission during a rather intorspective interview he had on a YouTube show called Man Talk.
What is interesting about all this is that his interview showed a more… Intune side of the often more brash and often vocal side of the singer who is known to always talk off the cuff about anything and everything.
Perhaps it was the subject matter that made him actually introspect or perhaps it is due to the fact that he underwent counselling to him with his marriage that has made him this way on the topic but as we said at the very beginning, the 8 months he was forced to spend indoors with his wife took a toll on Bien and he found himself contemplating ending the marriage.
I will once again say that I do not understand why celebrities like opening up their marriage for public scrutiny by discussing issues such as these and the fact that he would allow his woman to pursue intimacy with her celebrity crush -only to later turn around on the matter and blast fans and “bloggers” for daring to report verbatim on what they themselves said but here we are again.
Anyway, let us keep it pushing. Alot of people missed something that Bien has communicated or should I say some things that were communicated. Let us get right into it:
#1. Kenyan youth aren’t really prepared for marriage
Your guy is a celebrity who has been touring around the world. He is currently on top of the world and his craft. He probably did not really seek any direction before he settled down. To him, this was merely the next step his relationship needed to take. The reason I say this is because from what we have seen among celebs, most of them do not really think about what exactly marriage is and what it entails.
Have they discussed children? Has Bien discussed how they would raise those children? I mean, he told us that they have discussed her (and him) being allowed to sleep with celebrity crushes but have they discussed the mundane aspects that makeup daily married life? If spending 8 months with someone in close quarters puts a strain on the relationship then perhaps they don’t really know each other.
Do they have a couple they can approach when they need to discuss their marriage? And no, I am not talking about their married friends and bandmates, I mean, can Bien reach out to a couple that has been happily married for 20+ years who aren’t his parents or Chiki’s?
#2. The strong woman trope doesn’t work in marriage
Chiki is a strong woman. That is her identity. She is a modern woman who is not willing to lose her identity for the sake of anyone… Yeah, so when we delve into statistics collected from societies that actually keep them, feministsis and Ms Independent™ do not stay married for long. And often, it is the women who opt out of the union. The unfortunate truth is that women are responsible for taking care of the relationship. That is not to say that a woman should tolerate a man who is clearly not in it to win it but that is simply the truth of how human beings are designed. Unlike men, women are the more community and communication driven sex. Men are more interested in things and concepts. Women are more interested in people and relationships.
Does that sound like a double standard? Maybe if you’re a “modern woman” but it is encoded in our genetics.
And Bien too is always championing this delusion. In truth, if marriage needed to change, it would have done so organically, not through virtue signalling. We do not care whether or not he is an “ally” because that is not what makes marriages work. And as we are seeing from the west, liberalism is not the way to go unless we want to watch marital rates plummet even further.
#3. Keep your relationship and marriage private
This is a huge one because whenever their relationship is discussed, it is always because Bien is opening up their love to public scrutiny. I have a mentor who keeps reminding me that secrecy locks the demons in but privacy keeps the demons out. His marriage deserves the privacy it takes for them to navigate their issues, find their love for each other and keep growing in that path. Stop telling us all sorts of nonsense about how last night’s date was the bestest ever or how the first 8 months of marriage were hell.
Bien needs to realise he is the captain of his ship and Chiki is his first mate. Whatever happens on the ship is between them. When they need to discuss anything, it should only be with either professionals or “safe harbours” such as an elderly couple that has an interest in seeing the couple stay happily married.